German Chocolate! On the Fly...

My dad's big 50th birthday party was last Sunday so I decided to make German chocolate cake, his favorite. I've never been a fan of German Chocolate, it tends to be way too sweet and rich for my taste. Since it's my dad's favorite, I've eaten many slices in my lifetime. Not many bakeries make German chocolate cake in our area and they tend to be expensive since the signature caramel frosting is supposed to be chock full of pecans.  The cakes from the grocery store are straight up disgusting: sugary crystallized fudge frosting with no chocolate flavor and jelled sugar "caramel" with specks of pulverized nuts. In my mind grocery store German chocolate is NEVER worth it and those from bakeries are rarely so. From a baking standpoint, this cake requires extra work since there's a filling as well as frosting and caramel can be unforgiving. Taking all this into consideration I set out to make a German chocolate cake that was actually worth a damn for my dear old Dad.

The night before I had Ashley over for a movie night. The plan was for her to show me new makeup freebies and for me to show her an impressive "date night" dinner while we watched a movie. We ended up drinking wine and eating leftover Chinese. Mission accomplished! In hindsight it was probably better that we didn't cook because early the next morning, mere hours before my dad's party, I rushed around to make the cake. If that wasn't enough craziness I decided, in all my wisdom, to whip up breakfast for all three of us: maple glazed oven crisp bacon, scrambled eggs and fresh buttermilk biscuits. The oven was already hot so why not? It seems that I have a real problem with setting my expectations way too high. Too much is never enough! So I end up making a few too many dishes, fixating on decorations and worrying, worrying, worrying. But it all comes out in the wash and so far almost everything gets done with just enough time to sip some wine and relax.

I started with the cake, Beatty's Chocolate Cake courtesy of Ina Garten, which has been my go to chocolate cake recipe for a few years. It's a variation on the Best Ever Chocolate Cake recipe on the back of the Hershey's Cocoa Powder box substituting buttermilk for the milk and fresh brewed hot coffee for the boiling water. Usually I play around with recipes from the first or second time I use them, using them as a sketch of what I want to achieve with my own tweaks. However, I have used this recipe with very few adjustments. It's what a classic American chocolate cake should taste like: great chocolate flavor with a light, fluffy and moist texture. Wait...isn't this supposed to be GERMAN chocolate cake? more on that later. It baked up without incident as an old trusted recipe should. I just checked the oven down from 350 degrees F to 325 degrees F, because I was using an 18"x18" pan and wanted an even layer that was moist throughout.

On to the filling! I improvised the caramel pecan and coconut filling based on the bones I found online here and here. Caramel is just cooked sugar so what distinguishes one from another is what sugars are being caramelized, the amount of moisture and additives like butter. For this frosting I used approximately 2 cans of sweetened condensed milk,1/2 cup of superfine sugar, 4 cups of heavy cream, 4 tbs butter, 3/4 cup of Coffee Mate Natural Bliss Vanilla plus some 2% milk,vanilla extract, couple pinches of salt and a couple pinches of baking soda plus 2 cups each of pecans and coconut (sweetened flaked is just fine). Not precise I know! I may try and work out an exact recipe and post it later since it turned out pretty well. You may pooh pooh the idea of a processed dairy product going into a cake from scratch. I worried about it a bit too. However, Coffee Mate Natural Bliss (CMNB) has been my newly discovered fancy coffee at home addition. We bought it for Mr. Bumble's 30th birthday camping trip and were hooked from then on. It contains cream, milk, sugar and vanilla flavoring.I think it added a roundness to the vanilla flavor of the caramel. I'm NOT APOLOGIZING hahaha.

 I threw all the ingredients except for the baking soda pecans and coconut into a pot over medium low heat. It had been at least 6 months since I had made caramel anything so I forgot that caramel expands a lot while cooking. I had to change pots twice but eventually it was bubbling merrily on the stove in a 5 quart stock pot with a nice heavy bottom. In my experience if you're making up a big batch of caramel you can relax a little bit  during the first part of cooking before it turns golden. Stir it occasionally and watch so it doesn't boil over, but chill out a little bit so you aren't slaving away. The caramelization started and the mixture bubbled up which reminded me that most caramel recipes call for baking soda which I hastily added to prevent a molten sugar mess. While the caramel was cooking I toasted the pecans at 325 degrees F until they were nice and golden brown. Next time I'll definitely toast the coconut too. after the caramel was a nice golden brown I added the nuts and coconut.

The frosting was a super easy fudge frosting I tweak until it's just right:
2 Sticks of unsalted butter
6 cups of confectioner's sugar
11.5 oz bag of Ghirardelli bittersweet chocolate chips
3/4 approx cocoa powder ( add more for taste and consistency)
3/4 cup cream or the fattiest milk on hand (add more to get the consistency right)
2 tsp vanilla
Melt the chocolate and butter together in the microwave add the other ingredients and stir. The results, once you reach the right consistency, are a super chocolatey not too sweet frosting. The glossy appearance disappears once it's fully cooled :(. You can thin it out for a glaze or just use as is. If it gets too hard add milk a tablespoon at a time until it's just right or soften it in the microwave.

Here we go!

I am pregnant! After somewhat recovering from the shock of finding out, I remembered I had this practically never used blog. Now here I am writing my first pregnancy post. Who knows, it may be like my first blogging foray and I'll never write another post. Hopefully not, as this is my first pregnancy I would like to remember it before the fog of motherhood creeps over and I have no time to do anything.

Today is our first official prenatal appointment at 8 weeks 6 days. Just 8 days ago I went to the doctor to discuss going on fertility drugs. I was frustrated because after five months of trying we were still not pregnant and on top of that my periods were still irregular and I was having horrendous endless PMS. I've had irregular cycles since puberty so 2,3 and rarely 5 months without a period was no big deal. I had been getting acupuncture and taking Chinese herbs to regulate my cycles and prepare to have a baby for a year already. Mr. Bumble thinks I was jumping the gun but given my history and how long I had been waiting and planning to become a mother, I felt ready to get medical intervention. My NP had already discovered high prolactin so I had taken bromocriptine and cabergoline to bring it down. I discussed this history with my Dr. and listened to how I would have to take Provera to induce my period and then Clomid on specific days of my cycle all while going to the Dr. 2-3 times a month and getting sonograms and blood work. It sounded like a huge pain, but I was willing if it meant I would get pregnant right away. All I had to do was take a urine test to make sure I wasn't already pregnant before I took the drug to start my "week". 

I sat in the waiting room for a scant 4 minutes before the nurse came out and said I could go. I was making a beeline for the lab down the hall to do my blood work when she rushed out of the office door and told me she wanted to "look at it under some light." Sitting there gazing at the Fit Pregnancy, Parenting and Women's Day magazines I wondered how long it would be until I was finally pregnant and dreading that the clomid might not work and we would have to do in-vitro. After what seemed like forever the nurse called me back with a huge beaming smile and my Dr. told me that I was indeed PREGNANT! She "verified" it herself which I found funny because I'm sure the nurse has read way more tests than she has. I was so in shock because I had had  a urine test, a blood test and a vaginal ultrasound 8 weeks ago when I was convinced I was pregnant, and it all came out negative. Since then I was so bummed about it not happening and did not feel like trying at all because of horrific PMS symptoms. I had awful bloating and my tits were sore all the time. Just a look from Mr.B and I would cross my arms gently over my chest and screech at him because he even thought about touching them. Needless to say we didn't get it on all that much since the negative tests so I really never thought I could be pregnant. It turns out it was just too early to tell.

Still incredulous and not allowing myself to catapult into joy and excitement I lay on the table for my first ultrasound. I didn't think I would see anything, in fact I was sure that cocooned in my skepticism I would be told that they were wrong and I wasn't really pregnant. I was confident that my refusal to believe in it would keep me safe from this disappointment. And then I saw the heartbeat, on the screen fluttering in black and white. The most beautiful blob I had ever seen. It actually looked pleased with itself: flipping and turning as if to say "See, I am real la la la lala!" A tear slid down my cheek and I was AMAZED!

Afterwards the Dr. cautioned that because I had a contrast MRI the week before to rule out a tumor as the cause of my high prolactin that my baby (eeep!) had been exposed to gadolinium. The technician should have given me a pregnancy test but I had told him that there was no way I was. I felt awful because I should have taken one as a precaution or been more in tune with my body. It seems a common theme in my short experience and from other pregs I've talked to that the worrying, whether  there is cause or not, doesn't stop. From what I've read the risks of gadolinium exposure are kidney malformation or non-formation and miscarriage after exposure between 7-14 weeks. I was just under 7 weeks according to the Dr.'s estimation, but since gadolinium can cross the placenta I'm not breathing easy yet. She said that  the heartbeat and survival one week post exposure were all good signs. Now at the end of my 8th week with waves of morning sickness and near constant fatigue I'm choosing to believe that this little bean is strong and really wants to meet us. We're waiting until 12 weeks to announce to everyone but we have told our parents and some close friends. It will be just around Halloween, my favorite holiday and I've already brainstormed a few cute ways to go public. Until then I'll be riding the waves, feeling alternately joyful and totally gross but thankful all the same.

I have a degree!: thoughts on children

Mr. Bumblebright and I have been discussing when to start a family. It's kind of up in the air but I feel like it's not too far away. Thank goodness I have this blog so I can read it and remember what it was like before THEY came hahaha. Just the other day we were talking and Mr. BB dropped the word CONstruct, not construct like a birdhouse, but like social CONstruct. That pronunciation is one of the many pretentious habits I picked up in college. It made me realize that one day one of our kids will come to me with a diaper busting at the seams and say something completely ridiculous like "changey poopey". I'm going to look at that precious child and want to scream "I went to college! where did you come from?!"

Don't get me wrong, I love children and have always looked forward to having a family of my own. But now that it's so close it's brought into focus all the things I can take for granted now. Things like going to the bathroom alone and in peace, sleeping in, spending an hour rubbing in extra rich moisturizer then taking a nap in the afternoon and leaving sharp knives out.

Life Remodel

So I named this blog a little less than a year ago on October 22, 2010 as a newly minted married lady. Funny how life works that way. Sometimes we aren't ready for new undertakings, new people in our lives or steps that need to be taken. Thankfully, I just came off of a whirlwind weekend. It was one of those moments in life where nothing could go wrong. Heaven sent! I trust in the universe to provide what we need most when we need it and this weekend was a perfect example of that. So with fresh wind in my sails I decided to finally start this blog.  All these new agey, "The Secret" via Oprah-esque, Eat, Pray, Love buzz words make me sound like some hippy dippy Pollyanna, but don't be fooled. I do love a good dose of b****ness but if it's not served up along with some love and light, you end up being a dried up old ball of bitterness. Not cute.  I'm not the most tech savvy gal so Steve Jobs and the tech gods be with me through this process.

 After the jump, there's an outline of this epiphany weekend, if you care to read. 

My intentions for this blog are:

1.) To celebrate the beautiful things in my life that make me happy 

2.) To track my creative adventures in cooking, fashion, home decorating and party planning. In short to create a fierce personal style and attitude. 

3.) To track my inspiration by and appreciation for others' style and attitudes

4.) To reflect on how these projects affect my life and further my goal to create the life I desire.

 With hard work and inspiration I hope to live fearlessly and have a fabulous time! Everyone has messy moments, especially me, and I never want to stop learning or trying my best to be my best self. This is my journey from bumble to queen bee.